I do not have to wait until heaven....

If I can't be thankful for anything else on any particular day there is one thing that I am thankful for everyday, "The eternal life promise you have given to me." There was nothing I could do to gain it--you gave it to me as a free gift of grace. now there is nothing I can do to lose it either...it is sealed by the Holy Spirit. Eternal joy is something I can count on and it gives me hope everyday. I might suffer each day, but there is "joy" in knowing that I am on the shorter side of eternity.

As Paul said in Philippians 3:14, I press on towards the goal to win the prize. What is the prize? On Sunday I learned that when I choose to let the Holy Spirit help me to live out the fruits of the spirit which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control, I fully experience the power of His resurrection. So when I remind myself that I am on the shorter side of eternity and accept the joy of that truth rather than complaining about my circumstances I experience His POWER at that moment and the even more exciting truth, "I do not have to wait until heaven".

Search my heart O' Lord!

Dear Father a lot has happened since my last entry as we are now at the end of 2014. Reading the entries was a great reminder of Who are you are and your faithfulness. I have certainly been caught by surprise many times since July. I still hold on to the hope you have given to me, but my faith has "with a doubt" been challenged time and again.

I took a break from writing and reading my entries tonight they are challenging me to pick it up again. If it is only for a while, they will be there for me to read later, like I did tonight. My other blog is WorshipWithoutEnd which I will no longer continue as this one is more recent.

I still suffer on a daily basis, but I am making headway with things that I am taking.

Veganzyme: It has the enzyme I am missing with Fabry. At first my BM's were too soft and I had fun accidents every other day to put it mildly. But in that same breath I was happy to "not go" six days with constipation--causing headaches etc... from too many toxins in the system.

Iron: It was found that I was anemic just over a year ago, so to counteract the soft BM's I decided to take two pills a day instead of one. Well today I had two well formed BM's and am thrilled to say the least. It is also giving me more strength when walking.

Alpha Lipoic Acid: I am still trying to find a brand and dosage that works the best, but not taking anything showed just how important taking something is for my neuropathy .

Thytrophin PMG: three a day seems to work the best for my thyroid.

Cell Food: the verdict is still out on this one. I am hoping to achieve more energy, but have only been taking for a couple weeks and expect it to take longer before seeing clear results.

Lord I long for you to search my heart and use the Holy Spirit to inspire me to write beyond head knowledge and write from my heart instead.

Worship-based Prayer

Worship-based prayer, what fruit can I hope to see from this kind of prayer? I more often put into practice a grocery list style of praying. There is a place for it, and I pray for the lost, leaders, members of my church and any other requests I come across from day to day.

According to Daniel Henderson in his book, Transforming Prayer-how everything changes when you seek God's face. He has witnessed the following fruit.

God is glorified! People recognize the presence of God in their lives because they have joined Him in that work through their prayers. They are sensitized to His presence, His power, and His purposes. Their lips are free to recognize Him as the source of all good things

We are Sanctified and growing! We are set aside for God's purpose-in, around, and through us to make us holy, more like Jesus, not perfect, but growing more sinless every day.

The church is edified! When transformation occurs within hearts, ignited by the truth and the presence of Christ--everything else changes for the health of the church. We are built up in the power of the Holy Spirit--our marriages, families, ministries, etc....

The world is mystified! People changed by God cannot help but change the world. The world is not changed by relevant, strategic, visionary, leadership-savvy, wealthy, attractive, or educated Christians. They might be interesting qualities and helpful in building up big religious organizations, but the world is transformed by sanctified Christians, through whom the life of Jesus becomes the mystifying manifestation.

The enemy is notified! Satan is not omniscient. He is supernatural and powerful, and supported by myriads of demonic forces, but he cannot read our thoughts. The best he can do is observe our behavior, eavesdrop on our conversations, and implement a strategy to send fiery darts into our minds based on his observations. When he sees our Christ-ward focus and the victory that comes from intimacy with Jesus-we leave Satan in dismay.

I want to replace seeking the hands of God to seeking His face-in my growing relationship with Him and the more recognition of His presense and love for me and this world, the rest will follow.

Fill our minds with the things of God.

Lord I need you, oh I need you, every hour I need you. My one defense my righteousness oh God, how I need you. Words by Matt Maher.

Surrounded by Your glory, 

what will my heart feel  

Will I dance for you Jesus 

or in awe of you be still  

Will I stand in your presence 

or to my knees will I fall  

Will I sing hallelujah, 

will I be able to speak at all  

I can only imagine.

Words by Casting Crowns.

All I have ever needed is your Love. Words by Brandon Heath.

These words are so powerful and true and are the three songs I was just listening to. I am finding I need to purposely pick songs to play while I am doing other things. I stopped watching so much TV and started to choose specially what I am feeding my mind and I am seeing a difference. I like cop shows or the 24 series and some science fiction too. But after I have watched a marathon of any one these, I have found myself stressed and negative. God said to me that is because that is what is in those shows and by watching them back to back that is all you have been filling your mind with for four or more hours.

I stopped watching the show "House" all together for so many reasons. 1. It shows all the major illnesses and possibilities and many were neurological --I do not need that right now. 2. Dr. Houses attitude is so wrong and got old after a while--it caused inner strife. 3. There was sexual promiscuity shown on every show.....If I spent more time I could name more.

I love the new service my Amazon prime membership provides,  which is certain music for free to add to a library to listen to playlists that you can build without the ads you get from Utube. There are some selections they offer for members to purchase as well.

I have learned the importance, of what we fill our minds with before in the past and I failed again, but I am choosing to fail forward. I get back up again and persevere in feeding my mind with the things of God. It is like an orchestrated song I have been listening to lately. It plays a tune with just single keys of a piano, then it repeats by adding chords, then again adding a simple violin string, then once again with a fuller set of strings, then finishes off with trumpets and the tune is at a full complete feeling. That is how I feel about the lessons I keep learning in my life. Sometimes I go through them over and over again, but each time I live it out with a new concept included and I am progressing with improvement each time. God is finishing a good work in me!

Covered in the blood of Jesus

A book I have been reading the last couple of days is "When you can't find God: How to ignite the power of His presence." by Linda Evans Shepherd. Today's reading was chapter four titled Standing against the darkness. The part that stood out to me today was when she was remembering a time when she had a vision during prayer. She was covered  from head to foot in blood, crouching in a shiny white path in a shape of a cross. She asked "Lord, what it this?" He said, "You always pray that you are covered in the blood of Jesus and this is how the enemy sees you." She responded with "I must look pitiful." "Oh no! You look terrifying and powerful. Do not forget, the enemy is afraid of the blood of Jesus." "Are you saying the enemy is terrified of me and I do not even know, I have this power over him?"

All we need to do is resist the devil and he will flee, but we need to follow God's word and do it! I need to respond right away not after the devil has been talking to me, for what sometimes can be hours. May we remember the power we have within us and never forget, when we are struggling or living within our best of days. Remember 1 John 4:4 " You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." 

Humbled and held back

Jesus Today-by Sarah Young for me today reads,

"Sometimes my Sovereign hand-My control over your life-places you in humbling circumstances. You feel held down, held back, and powerless to change things. You long to break free and feel in control of your life once again. (This is exactly how I have been feeling the last few months.) 

Although this is an uncomfortable position, it is actually a good place to be. Your discomfort awakens you from the slumber of routine and reminds you that I am in charge of your life. It also presents you with an important choice: You can lash out at your circumstances-resenting My ways with you-(That unfortunately is what I did first) or 

you can draw closer to Me. (Whew... glad I am here now.)  

When you are suffering, your need for Me is greater than ever. The more you choose to come near Me, affirming your trust in Me, the more you can find hope in My unfailing Love. You can even learn to be joyful in hope while waiting in My Presence--where  Joy  abounds. Persevere in trusting Me, and I will eventually lift you up. (My choice of the word perseverance for my life right now was no accident it was God ordained.) 

Meanwhile, cast all your anxiety on Me, knowing that I care for you affectionately and am watching over you continually."

Had I read this a few weeks ago I would not have heard it in my heart like I do today. God has a reason for my suffering and I longingly wait in expectation to what He will continue to teach me. I could never understand the abundant joy He talks about in His word, during time of suffering, but the last couple of days I am beginning to see a glimpse of it. My circumstances have not changed, but I have. I pray from my heart that the change continues and I reap the rewards of growth.

Perseverance!

I have done blogs in the past and they go strong for a while, then fizzle out. Lord willing I want to stay committed to this one, a continual reminder of God's faithfulness to me no matter where I am at in life and a testimony of what perseverance produces.

A few years back I chose perseverance to be a daily word, bought a poster, framed it, and it is hung in my living room. Never did I fathom that God would test my perseverance or at least to the extreme he has done so. Hardship for a couple weeks I can pretty much handle, but months of hardship I began to need God's strength. Then when it progressed into years, I began to desperately need the Lord's strength, but I was struggling with how to go about doing that. How do you separate doing things in your own strength and allowing God to do it through you. You cannot do it until you die to self and submit the sinful attitudes to Christ. That revelation did not come to me over night.

{deep breathes-- lots of them}

I remember often hearing about the JOY in the middle of struggles, but when you are feeling sorry for yourself joy is the last thing you want. Because of my bitterness I was accepting my struggles with a spirit of defeat and I would listen to the devil and allow him to drag me deeper and deeper into depression. Through it all the Lord never stopped loving me and he never stops loving you either. You might not feel him and I often did not either, but now when I look back and I read his truth in the Bible I see that he never stops loving us.

May Ephesians 3:18 encourage you today!