Humbled and held back

Jesus Today-by Sarah Young for me today reads,

"Sometimes my Sovereign hand-My control over your life-places you in humbling circumstances. You feel held down, held back, and powerless to change things. You long to break free and feel in control of your life once again. (This is exactly how I have been feeling the last few months.) 

Although this is an uncomfortable position, it is actually a good place to be. Your discomfort awakens you from the slumber of routine and reminds you that I am in charge of your life. It also presents you with an important choice: You can lash out at your circumstances-resenting My ways with you-(That unfortunately is what I did first) or 

you can draw closer to Me. (Whew... glad I am here now.)  

When you are suffering, your need for Me is greater than ever. The more you choose to come near Me, affirming your trust in Me, the more you can find hope in My unfailing Love. You can even learn to be joyful in hope while waiting in My Presence--where  Joy  abounds. Persevere in trusting Me, and I will eventually lift you up. (My choice of the word perseverance for my life right now was no accident it was God ordained.) 

Meanwhile, cast all your anxiety on Me, knowing that I care for you affectionately and am watching over you continually."

Had I read this a few weeks ago I would not have heard it in my heart like I do today. God has a reason for my suffering and I longingly wait in expectation to what He will continue to teach me. I could never understand the abundant joy He talks about in His word, during time of suffering, but the last couple of days I am beginning to see a glimpse of it. My circumstances have not changed, but I have. I pray from my heart that the change continues and I reap the rewards of growth.